Friday, February 3, 2012

Part 42: CTRL-F should do one thing and one thing only

Ctrl-F = find. Period. Full stop. End of discussion.

Except, of course, in outlook, where Ctrl-F forwards a copy of the selected message. That's a nice shortcut to have, but considering that Outlook has a find feature (a particularly braindead one, but a find feature nonetheless) it should be called by Ctrl-F. For some unfathomable reason, "Find" is called by Ctrl-E. Let's see where E is in the word "find." F, well, that's not an E. I, it's a vowel, but not an E. N is not an E, and D is close, but as close as F, which is not an E. There is no "E" in Find! Oh, and then, of course, "advanced find" is shift-ctrl-F. Makes a world of sense. Almost as much sense a the underlined letters in


The "w" is underlined in forward, so obviously ctrl-W has nothing to do with forwarding. And the "i" is underlined in find, so "i" makes things italic. Yeah that makes sense. It's nice of them to make alt-I a shortcut for find, but there's still no cross-application compatibility. In other words, ctrl-F should always call the find function. The program-random alt-underlined shortcuts are just annoying.

To recap: to use the "find" function you can use either ctrl-E or alt-I. In a just and loving world, this would not be allowed.

So, maybe Redmond realizes how bad their search is and doesn't want people to find it. It turns out that a surprisingly high number of people have no idea how to use the find function. Probably because they've been using Outlook. (Now, in Gmail, Find actually works, you know, to find things. But that's an entire other post.)

8 comments:

Ellen said...

Yes! And - search should actually work in anything that you would expect it to. Like in Windows Explorer. Who was the idiot who decided that search will no longer be an option?

Oh? I can mangle it horribly in the search box on the upper right? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!! ARE YOU INSANE?! OR ARE YOU NOW RUN BY AN ARBITRARY BEYATCH OB BEYATCHES WHO JUST CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKING ANY PART OF WINDOWS?!

Ellen said...

And then there is the new MENU system!

You know that lower write icon that used to say "Start" on it?

Well, some MORON decided that from now on ALL programs MUST be shown in ONE column! NO EXCEPTIONS!!

Why? Because obvious the MORON doesn't HAVE many PROGRAMS on her laptop that she cares to USE!

She probably just uses Email and Powerpoint and MS Word. But mostly Powerpoint, because she's a manager and an idiot.

But you know what?! SOME of us have TONS of programs! Some of us actually DO things that computers are REALLY NECESSARY FOR like advanced MATH, or MOLECULAR MODELING, or any one of a hundred things. I probably have at least FIFTY programs that I ACTUALLY USE regularly!

And I NEED A GODDAM MENU FOR THAT YOU BRAINLESS MORON!!!!

Do you know what a desktop looks like after filling it up with 150 program icons?!!

Do you know how hard it is, and how much longer it takes to find a menu item by scrolling up and down in your ONE goddamned COLUMN wah over on the LEFT?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!

Actually, I think I know. You used to be run by a chief asshole, Mr. Bill Gates, who made it his business to personally hit you MORONS over the head with BASEBALL BATS when you did something this STUPID!!

But now Mr. Bill Gates is off in Africa and god knows where, leaving YOU FOOLS to WRECK any semblance of ease by your IDIOTIC, DROOLING, IMBECILIC, CRETINOUS peeing in the soup!

I am SURE you like the FLAVOR much better now! But ONLY YOU THINK STUPID AND MORONIC IS BETTER!!!

Would you PLEASE jump off a bridge so the rest of us can have a decent operating system?!

Ellen said...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111


MUST RESIST NEED TO STRANGLE IDIOTS!!!

Ellen said...

AND THIS!

Now that I have an UBER-FAST laptop, and the LATEST piece of crap Windows operating system, my PC runs SLOWER THAN A COMMODORE 64!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!

All I want to do is use Explorer to look at what is in my Download directory!!!

Can I do that? Well, I can. But only after Windows Explorer goes of searching and searching and searching for several minutes for ... wait for it ...
Nothing!

That's right. The new SEARCH that is a piece of crap CAN'T be turned off! It tries to give you a searched list using ... NOTHING!

And it takes until the cows are finished being milked in the afternoon to do that.

And THAT is why I ended up HERE and got DISTRACTED writing RANTS about what DRIVES ME TO SCREAMING FITS AND THOUGHTS OF STRANGULATION!

Because the goddamned window wouldn't show me what the list of files was until it had finished scanning for NOTHING, I couldn't stand it and got distracted here for half an hour!!!

I WANT TO STRANGLE THE MORONS WHO DID THIS TO ME!!!

I would switch to Linux, but the file system was written by that wack-job who tortured his Russian wife to death in his garage, then buried her next to a tree on a hiking path RIGHT IN THE CITY!!

I can't deal with that creepiness in Linux. The penguin should have a chainsaw mask on him.

And I HATE programming on Apple.

Namık Berk Sözer said...

You posted your last entry in February. I think there is more to hate windows so you should post more frequently.

PS: My desktop PC components are more compatible with OSX than windows. Thank you Microsoft for being suck since 1986.

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Johny William said...
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Johny William said...
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